Families are complicated to say the least. If you have recently discovered that you had or have a sibling that was adopted, then this can be difficult to cope with.
You may want to do everything in your power to locate that sibling for a number of reasons.
Perhaps you wish to reconnect, or you want to find out if the sibling has ever lived close by, right under your nose. Maybe you have found out that you have a genetic disease or illness, and wish to locate and let your adopted sibling know.
Whatever the reason, more and more people want to find their siblings that have been adopted online, and meet up in person to get to know them.
However, this can sometimes feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. So, how do you even begin to find an adopted sibling?
Finding An Adopted Sibling
Finding an adopted sibling is no simple task, but the good news is that there are many ways that you can do this today.
There are a myriad of agencies and organizations that work solely on finding siblings that have been adopted.
Some of the more common and popular ones are:
Adopted.com – Find an adopted sibling in just three simple steps.
Adoption.com – Search through the Reunion Registry for siblings.
Ancestry.com – Use DNA data to make connections between family members.
How To Find An Adopted Sibling
If you are unsure where to begin your search, you can follow these simple steps. The first step is to start with the adoption agency that was used.
If your parents had your sibling adopted, then it is best to speak to them to find out what process and agency they used for the adoption.
In most cases, this is where the trail runs dry, as adoption agencies will ask permission from the adopted child, or the parents of the adopted child if biological family members are able to reach out.
It depends on what kind of adoption took place. If it was an open adoption, then there may be consent between biological family and adoptive family for communication and connection.
However, if the adoption was closed, then you will find it difficult to locate the sibling unless they themselves reach out or search for you.
How helpful the adoption agency is in your search depends on the agency itself, the type of adoption that took place, and many other factors. You may even be able to find the adoption records which can help you on your search.
The next step is to look through adoption registries such as the ones bullet pointed above. Some adoptees may be already looking for their biological family, and could have joined one of the registries in the hope of a reunion.
If you join one of these registries, you will of course have to provide information about yourself, in order to narrow down the search.
There are also smaller companies that will offer adoption agency reunion, and search and reunion services.
Failing that, you could consider locating the state adoption records. That being said, many states will seal the records once the adoption has taken place.
Depending on your circumstances, you may be able to gain access to the adoption records in order to find your sibling.
However, you could require a legal attorney or representative in order to gain access to state adoption records. Here at AdoptionsForAll, we can assist you in all family matters.
If you are still struggling to find your adopted sibling, then you could turn to social media, or use any information that you do have such as the surname of the adoptive family, and look on Facebook or other social networking sites to find the family, or a close friend or relative to the family, in order to reach out and find your sibling.
You may have to try multiple names such as the names of the adoptive parents, or the surname of the adoptive family.
Your sibling could have also gotten married, and changed their surname, making it harder to find them, so it is a good idea to search a few different names and look for relatives or friends of the sibling in order to locate them.
As mentioned above, many family members have reconnected due to ancestry and DNA databases such as Ancestry.com. But, you could also use 23andMe, Sequencing.com, or even MyHeritage, as your sibling could be on a certain platform, and not on others.
It’s a good idea to sign up to a few different DNA databases, in the hope to build your family tree and find connections that could lead you to your sibling.
For these platforms to work, you will need to take a DNA test, and upload your DNA data to the database, so that it can locate connections and family members across the globe (see also “Best DNA Tests For Adoptees“).
Finally, if you have the means, then you could hire a private investigator in order to find your sibling, but this is often used as a last resort if your online search is not going well.
What To Do If You Cannot Find An Adopted Sibling
You may have hit obstacles on your search to find an adopted sibling. In some cases, adopted siblings simply do not want to be found, as it can be jarring and difficult to cope with finding out you have a different biological family.
While you may be keen on finding your biological family, you may struggle to do so. It is important in these cases to take a step back and focus on your mental health.
Seek the help of a counselor or therapist to help you through this difficult time, and find healthy coping mechanisms. Perhaps one day your sibling will search for you instead.
Final Thoughts
To summarize, there are a variety of ways in which you can search for an adopted sibling.
You may be able to find records and information from the adoption agency itself, or you could use adoption registries and online DNA databases in order to reconnect with your biological family.
Whichever option you choose to use, we hope you find everything you are searching for, and can reunite with your loved ones.
Hi, I’m Joan Crassel, and I started my firm in 2006, with the goal to help and represent clients in a range of adoption-related matters.
Since then, the firm has gone on to aid hundreds of clients in adoption proceedings, and in other areas of family law.
With this site, I hope that you can find all of the answers that you are looking for, with in depth guides and informative articles from lawyers, not bloggers or social media influencers. We have actual first-hand knowledge of the adoption process, and can provide you with insight that no one else can.
